


Sentinel Drabbles

by Nadja_Lee



Category: The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Drabble Collection, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Reflection, Sentinel Senses, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-03
Updated: 2004-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23015647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: A collection of sentinel drabbles:Betrayal: Jim on betrayalGuilt: Blair on Jim’s guilt.Not Perfect But Perfect Together: Blair on people who wonder why he loves Jim.One Of A Kind: Blair on Jim being a Sentinel.Sentinel Healer: Blair on Jim’s ability to heal him.Survivor: Jim on his tendency to survive.Tears: Blair on Jim’s frozen tears.Theory On Healing: Jim on his ability to heal.
Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
Kudos: 29





	Sentinel Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to Nancy who betaed this even though she’s not into the Sentinel fandom. Thanks so much, lov *hugs*

**Betrayal**

Jim on betrayal

| A heart never gives up. Even after so many betrayals it fights to hold on. Yet some wounds never  
heal.  
I want to believe but the past never quite lets go. The fear of betrayal is always foremost in my  
mind. I guess I’ve come to expect abandonment and betrayal; a part of me has begun to believe I  
deserve nothing else.  
I hope Blair won’t ever betray me…But I expect him to. I hope he really does love me but I still  
expect him to lie and the slightest hint will have me succumbing to my most paranoid fears.  
---|---  
  
**Guilt**

Blair on Jim’s guilt.

| Your sense of duty and honour serves you well. It is what makes you the perfect Sentinel. You  
always wish to protect and safeguard everyone and if you see a wrongdoing you wish to correct it.  
However, it’s your demands on yourself, the constant strain of always being strong, always being  
perfect which weighs you down. Every problem in the world is somehow your fault and I can see  
the pain in every line of your face.  
You do not have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let me help you…let my love  
ease your burdens.  
  
**Not Perfect But Perfect Together**

Blair on people who wonder why he loves Jim.

| When some people ask me how I can love Jim, military-minded man that he is, I find it  
disrespectful towards a man who has suffered so much yet still remains a hero.  
I am no baby or saint. I know what I’m doing. I could have offered to be his Guide without  
demanding the right to study him and I could have stopped using his senses to my own advantage.  
He’s not perfect; neither am I. He has saved me countless times and he would die for me.  
I know he loves me always.  
What more could anyone ask for?  
  
**One Of A Kind**

Blair on Jim being a Sentinel.

| 

Only you can do what you do.

No one can understand what you’ve gone through. You’re one of a kind: a Sentinel born in a time when people with differences like yours will be prosecuted instead of valued and respected.

I feel a great sense of loss and sadness when I think of the inevitable day when you die.

The academic part of me mourns the loss the world will suffer. Most likely there will never be another Sentinel and the world will have lost its greatest protector and never even know it.

Personally…I’ll lose my heart and my soul.  
  
**Sentinel Healer**

Blair on Jim’s ability to heal him.

| 

Jim brought me back from the dead with a touch and his will. The scientist in me is greatly fascinated by this. Are all Sentinels able to revive others, to heal others? Or only their Guide? Or is it only Jim? I admit that a part of me, the part that loves Jim, likes the idea that it’s Jim’s love for me that gives him this ability.

Jim doesn’t want to talk about it but we will soon. If Jim can do this for me…don’t I have a responsibility to find out if he can do this for others too?  
  
**Survivor**

Jim on his tendency to survive.

| 

I won’t go down without a fight. Hit after hit, sorrow after sorrow, I always make it back alive though always scarred with another wound in my soul.

Little by little, as I lose another person I have come to care for, another part of me dies. I’ve been trained to kill to insure other people’s survival but sometimes even that fails me.

Survival guilt or protector instincts; I don’t know. All I know is that with you, Blair, I cannot fail…I couldn’t bear to lose you even if it meant breaking a tradition of coming back from near misses.  
  
**Tears**

Blair on Jim’s frozen tears.

| 

You never want to talk about your pain. I wish to hold you, protect you and tell you I love you but you’re not ready. You’re still fighting; still hurting. Barely under control, your loss could bring you to your knees.

The men under your command were your brothers. You wish you didn’t remember the blood and their broken bodies as they died but in your eyes I can see repression isn’t always working. All you’ve lost, all the friends and family members who left or betrayed you…

I know you’ll never cry for yourself so I’ll cry for you.  
  
**Theory On Healing**

Jim on his ability to heal.

| 

After all the near-misses and close calls, all the times where I’ve recovered in record time, Blair has formed a theory that Sentinels can heal themselves. Makes for a more efficient warrior; the less time he’s down the less time the tribe is unprotected. Sounds reasonable.

However I have another theory. I don’t think I can heal myself; I never could before in any way. I haven’t told Blair but my theory is that he is the key. My Guide, my love…my soul. I reach out and he’s there. He always helps me back from the abyss. He heals me…always.


End file.
